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By Martin Kasindorf, USA TODAY

The million-dollar federal payments that Congress designed to help the nearly 3,000 families of people killed in the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks have sparked feuds within hundreds of the families.

Ellen Cirri's husband, police Lt. Robert Cirri, died at the World Trade Center.
Todd Plitt, USA TODAY

Take, for example, the family of Robert Cirri, a Port Authority of New York and New Jersey police lieutenant. Before 9/11, Cirri, 39, lived in Nutley, N.J., with his wife, Eileen Cirri, and her three children from a previous marriage. His own three teenagers from two previous relationships lived with their mothers. Relations were harmonious. "We never had children of our own together, but we all got along," says Eileen Cirri, 43. "We were The Brady Bunch."

Robert Cirri was killed at the World Trade Center when al-Qaeda terrorists crashed two jets into the twin towers. Now, his widow says, relationships in the family are more "like a soap opera, like Days of Our Lives."

The two sets of kids no longer speak to each other. Robert's children, ages 19, 16 and 15, have lawyers who are asking an Essex County, N.J., judge to remove their stepmother as the administrator of his estate.

The quarrel began when Eileen Cirri decided to pursue a civil lawsuit for damages against airlines and others she blames for Robert's death. Instead, his children wanted the family to accept and split $1.5 million from the Justice Department fund that compensates 9/11 victims' survivors. People who accept money from the fund must waive their right to sue U.S. entities for negligence. On Friday, the judge ordered the widow to choose the government money.

The Cirri family, which has spent $100,000 on legal fees, is peaceful compared with other houses divided over 9/11 compensation. Dozens of family squabbles — mostly over who should share in the federal money — are complicating the emotionally trying job of the fund's administrator, Kenneth Feinberg. Related disputes, including paternity contests, are roiling probate courts that supervise the estates of the dead in several states.

The flare-ups are exposing an ugly underside of a federal program that has helped thousands. In some cases, they also reflect how family relationships have departed from traditional patterns.

At least 22 same-sex partners, often opposed by their deceased loved ones' relatives, are seeking compensation. They're having mixed success. Other battles pit one generation against another: a victim's parents against a domestic partner, fiance or spouse.

In some of the most unusual cases, several all-but-forgotten women who want compensation for the deaths of immigrant men have traveled to the USA from their native countries — Trinidad, Bolivia, Colombia and Brazil. Saying they are the victims' widows, they are blindsiding new wives and kids with inheritance lawsuits.

'When money is involved'

"Personal situations today are so complex," says Alice Rice, chief clerk of Queens County Surrogate's Court in New York City. "Old marriages or relationships that might never have surfaced suddenly are revealed after a disaster. When money is involved, there's even more incentive to come forward."

Among the recent disputes:

•World Trade Center worker Vishnoo Ramsaroop, 44, came to the USA from Trinidad in 1994 with three daughters whose mother he had never married. He married another woman, Shrimatti Shivamber, here in 1999. When he was killed, the couple were living in Queens with their own three young daughters. After the attacks, a third woman, Vadewatie Ramsaroop, arrived in New York and proved that she had married Vishnoo Ramsaroop in Trinidad in 1989. They had never divorced, which meant Shivamber's U.S. marriage to him was illegal.

After court battles, the wives agreed that each will plead her own case for money to Feinberg and won't challenge the other. Feinberg could give money to one or both, or he could kick the question back to the Queens court. "That Ramsaroop case — they should make a Lifetime cable movie about it," Rice says.

•Maria Vargas, 54, a widow who turned up in Queens from Bolivia, questioned in court whether Rosa Caceido's two U.S.-born children were fathered by David Vargas, 46, a slain WTC worker with whom Caceido had lived for nearly 20 years but had not married. Vargas' body was not found; the women battled over DNA from his razor, which could resolve paternity in tests. Maria Vargas opposed the testing.

The Caceido side sent investigators to Bolivia to seek evidence of a divorce; they were unsuccessful. Maria Vargas dropped her paternity challenge, agreed to be co-administrator with Caceido and will split federal benefits with the children. "My girl will end up with ... $300,000 to $400,000," says Arelia Taveras, Maria Vargas' attorney.

•"It's been crazy," says Tatiana Gomez, 29, a Staten Island, N.Y., paralegal. She was married to Wilder Gomez, 37, a Colombian-born waiter at the Trade Center's Windows on the World restaurant who came to the USA in 1992. Their daughter, Stephanie, is 9. On Sept. 12, 2001, Tatiana's mother-in-law got word from Colombia that Elisa Escalante, 40, was claiming to have married Wilder Gomez and was planning a trip to New York. Tatiana Gomez alleges in court that the marriage claim is bogus. Meanwhile, New York state crime-victim compensation of $60,000 and workers' compensation of $21,000 a year haven't gone to anyone. The women have filed separate claims with Feinberg and are in a legal battle over who should represent Wilder's estate.

•Three weeks before New York Police Department sharpshooter Santos Valentin died in the attacks, he and his wife, Selena, signed a separation agreement. She waived the rights to his death benefits, but she has filed a claim with Feinberg. In Queens and Manhattan courts, she's battling Valentin's sister, New York police investigator Denise Valentin, over rights to police pensions and the federal cash.

•In Ocean County, N.J., Harvey Gardner II, of Hernando, Fla., is suing his ex-wife, Judy Torea, and their two sons, Anthony and Mark Gardner. He wants half of the $1 million federal payment that those three got for the death of a third son, Harvey Gardner III, 35, at the Trade Center. In October 2001, the father, who had left his family in 1980, signed a document renouncing his claim "to any moneys in connection with my son." The waiver was "fraudulently procured" because the father wasn't aware of the federal payments, says his attorney, Frank Cozzarelli.

The defendants will fight. "My brother wouldn't want him to have a dime," says Anthony Gardner, 27.

Only about 25% left a will

The filing deadline was Dec. 21. Feinberg's office has received compensation claims from 2,908 of the 2,976 families that lost someone when hijacked jets crashed at the Trade Center, at the Pentagon and near Shanksville, Pa. Feinberg says he expects the fund to pay out $2 billion to $3 billion. The payments have averaged $1.8 million each.

At the root of most of the family disputes: Only about 25% of those who died left a will, which generally controls distribution of an estate's funds. Without a will, only Vermont, Hawaii and California gave inheritance rights to same-sex partners at the time of the attacks. Heterosexual domestic partners could inherit the property of a will-less decedent in Hawaii and Massachusetts, and in California with some limits.

Feinberg has broad discretion under the law Congress passed that bailed out hard-hit airlines and created the compensation fund. But his decisions "do not do an end run around state law," he says. "This is very important with fiances and same-sex partners. If the parents want to work out a deal with them, fine."

Feinberg encourages agreements by traditional heirs that go beyond state law and allow a victim's unmarried partner to get money. He says "hundreds" of partners have been paid this way.

Motives aren't entirely altruistic: Under Feinberg's formulas, a family acknowledging that an unmarried victim had a household partner "can get another $500,000," says John Jeannopoulos of Trial Lawyers Care, a network of attorneys who represent victims' families. When a family can't agree on who should share in the money, Feinberg deposits a sum in probate courts and lets judges sort it out under state laws. Feinberg says that in all but "two or three dozen" of his proceedings, a victim's loved ones have agreed on how they'll divide a government payout before the court-designated estate representative has filed a claim. But many families have declared truces only after months of legal combat.

Frustrated grandparents often wade into the process. Squeezed out of inheriting in most states when a dead child was married with children, many victims' parents have gotten federal payouts by notifying the fund of their interest in a case — and then making trouble for their in-law. "If grandparents file a statement that they lost a son or grandson but want us to know they think he was going to divorce the spouse who is the personal representative," Feinberg says, "the spouse may work out with the grandparents a separate distribution."

The disputes have led to changes in some states' laws. In October, childless 9/11 widows in Pennsylvania won rights at the expense of their in-laws. A victim's parents in such cases used to be in line for roughly 50% of their offspring's estate. Now they get nothing.

New York Gov. George Pataki and state legislators gave domestic partners of 9/11 victims, including same-sex partners, rights to state workers' compensation and crime-victim payments. The legislation was designed to give Feinberg some legal basis to compensate same-sex partners in the state. New Jersey officials gave future marriage-style rights to same-sex partners this month; it will not apply to 9/11 claims.

Jenny Pizer, a gay rights lawyer in Los Angeles for Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, says that even when same-sex partners have strong legal protections through state law or a will, they often bow to pressure to give a 9/11 victim's relatives part of the estate.

Divorce also can make agreements on compensation difficult. A 1971 divorce parted Jerry Bingham, 60, now a retiree in Wildwood, Fla., and Alice Hoglan, 54, of Los Gatos, Calif., who quit United Airlines last year after 33 years as a flight attendant. Their son, Mark Bingham, 31, an unmarried San Francisco public relations man, was one of the heroes of United Flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania after a group of passengers fought with hijackers.

After years of little contact, the parents have agreed on every aspect of their son's affairs except compensation for his death.

Hoglan insists on filing a wrongful-death lawsuit against United. Bingham, meanwhile, tried to file a limited claim with the federal fund, asking Feinberg to pay only the award share he's entitled to. The 9/11 disaster, Bingham says, is "one of those things you try to get behind you so you can go forward." Feinberg has shelved Bingham's application because Hoglan won't sign a letter acknowledging that if the fund were to pay any award, it could jeopardize her lawsuit. One of Bingham's attorneys, Tony Vecino, has considered battling Hoglan in court. But even if Bingham won there, Vecino says, it could lead to "only more disputes and lawsuits."

Says Bingham: "Looks like we're going to have to go with the lawsuit against United Airlines."

Hoglan says that "Jerry and I are working hard to stay friends."

In other families, such goodwill is harder to find. "It's the tragedy on top of the tragedy of 9/11: the disintegration of families," says Eileen Cirri. "I grieve for all of us."